Inconceivable

I tried to log into my phone/cable/internet account today.

The password didn't work. O.O

"Okaaay -- let's try forgotten password," she grumbles, knowing her fingers typed it right and it's the same one she's had for a while now.

New window pops up -- you need to add a secret question. Lips thinning, she chooses a question and answer.

New window pops up -- you need to enter the Security PIN we mailed you.

"Never got a Security PIN in mail or email -- what in the world are they talking about?"

Link says if you need the PIN, click to speak to customer service rep.

*click*

New window pops up -- not a rep at all but a Virtual VIKI who will be able to figure out my problem and help me. Oh joy.
Which of these questions describes your problem. She reads through questions, none fit her problem. But that's okay, she types her question 'what is my Security PIN?' into the box provided.

New window pops up -- this is the information we understand, which of these questions describes your problem?

Jaw clenched, she tries again, rewording question.

New window pops up -- this is the information we understand, which of these questions describes your problem?

Using language she really wouldn't want her daughter to hear, she tries again, rereading options carefully and again, rewording the question.

New window pops up -- this is the information we understand, which of these questions describes your problem?

She closes windows and goes to Contact Us page. She scrolls past the online help -- GAH NO! -- and finds (AH HA!) a phone number! YES!!

She dials phone number.
Choose one for English. bangs the 1 key

Listens with complete astonishment to an advert that lasts about a half a minute for ordering some football game stuff that she has no interest in and is making her blood pressure rise to red eyeball level.

Finally, options menu starts.
Choose two for billing. bangs the 2 key

If this is a current customer, press one. bangs the 1 key

Choose from these options: One for cable, two for internet, three for phone.
Silent astonishment and confusion floods brain -- no option for ALL THREE? Hello?

Refusing to choose between invalid choices, she remains silent and is thanked, then sent to another menu.

Choose one for English. bangs the 1 key

Choose two for billing. bangs the 2 key

If this is a current customer, press one. bangs the 1 key

Please hold, your call is very important to us. *musak inserted*

Finally --

"Good afternoon, my name is (name of nice person having to put up with customers irritated to point of going postal withheld), how many I help you?"

Nice person #1 put me on hold and eventually I got to nice person #2.

Nice person #2 explained that the phone/cable/internet company recently beefed up security and so many people's passwords were destroyed. (*grrrr under breath*)

Nice person #2 helped me and got me into my account -- thank you nice person!