Vacuums -- my bane

Someday I'm going to go postal on vacuums.

My husband is under the weather so I put my foot down and told him I would be cleaning the whole church (we're the custodians and normally split the church in half to get the job done in half the time -- the only time I've heard of a church split being a good thing).

Did fine. Till I got to the vacuuming. My vacuum broke a belt.
*sigh*
That's okay. I'll pull out the one my husband uses. It has a shorter cord and doesn't suck as well, but it will do.
NOT.
It spits. Really. Everything it sucked up it spit out.
I changed the bag and checked the filter. Tried again. It still spit.
By this time I was ready to spit too.
I got out the old stand-by that we avoid like the plague.
Short cord and it reminded me of that old Cat Stevens' song, "Fill My Eyes," because it's wheels don't roll. So I shoved it around the sanctuary and lobby. My arm hurts from muscling it, but at least it got the job done.

Now to hope my vacuum isn't so old that finding a belt for it won't create another headache...